25 Things Negan Could Have Said to Milo in “What It Always Is”…

We can’t be the only ones who felt that scene between Negan and Milo went from nice to weird in record time. For future reference, we’ve compiled a list of things Negan can bond with kids over that’s not weird.

In “What It Always Is,” Negan has a heart-to-heart with Milo while his mom packs up the bus. It turns weird, though, when Negan begins to reminisce about the joys of ‘nut-tapping.’ The scene felt more like an adult grooming a child to be okay with other people touching his junk than discussing experiences the kid is missing out on now that the world is over.

With a little effort to make Negan not such a fucking creeper, the writers could have had an interaction between Negan and Milo that helped the viewer see Negan in a different light. Unfortunately, here we are.

Since I’m a helpful person, here are 20 other things Negan could have said to a child that doesn’t involve touching someone without their consent then making it a joke. Who am I kidding, though. Negan hasn’t ever cared about consent before so why would he now? P.S. This is the only gif I could find of them, but it’s fitting.

Fast food drive-thrus

TP’ing someone’s house…or just toilet paper

Fro-yo

Friday nights at the movies

Cat memes

Vacations

Refrigerators

Arena concerts

Slug bug on road trips (hitting still involved!)

The worst noise that can wake you up is your alarm clock

The Amazon review section

Attractive people that smell nice

The luxury of boredom

Air conditioning and central heat

Rollercoasters

Hibachi

Getting kicked out of Walmart at midnight for playing hide and go seek

The ability to make up a fake girlfriend that goes to another school. (I have a gf! She goes to Hilltop!)

Getting a cell phone

Road trips with actual cars

 

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Things Negan could have talked about that actually go with his character:

Muscle cars

Funny videos of people getting hit in the nuts (not nearly as creepy as touching someone else’s)

Panama City Spring Break! Taking down snipes. Dirty dangles, boys. (Letterkenny. HULU. WATCH IT.)

Hooters

Grand Theft Auto

 

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I didn’t forget about Brandon this episode. Here’s a ‘Negan Starter Kit’ for all the Brandons out there attending the next Walker Stalker Con:

Red ascot

Shitting pants

Wet naps for all the jerking off in random places then bragging about it.

One-liners that border on WTF?

Talking loud, but actually being a little bitch who hides behind a mindless cult of followers.

Random self-identification: I am Negan. (We can already tell.)

 

For all of you who were able to attend an early WSC like me, it was awesome. Everyone else, do your research before you buy tickets.

 

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